Hello Skinny Me

I’ve been horrible. Terrible actually. And I don’t know why. But tomorrow’s going to be a new start. A completely new start. I need to do something I’ve never done before. Lose a big amount of weight in a short amount of time. I’m not proud of what I’m about to do. But it needs to be done. Because if I can’t fit into my wedding dress in 80 days. I will cry. Really, really, really hard. And I will always look back on my wedding with regrets. That will not happen. Tomorrow is a new day. A new me. Let’s go.

Saturday night I was able to spend with my fiance (which was amazing!). We went out to eat and I had a yummy shrimp salad, and decided to let myself have a drink from the celebration of being done with the cleanse. I don’t usually drink, and when I do it’s usually wine. But they had a “skinny” martini that sounded good so I decided to give it a try. That was my meal Saturday night. Sunday morning, I had three hardboiled eggs an orange and a banana. IMMEDIATELY after I got finished eating, my stomach started to gurgle. Literally, that’s what it was doing. My fiance kept trying to say oh it’s just your stomach digesting your food. But after about 45 minutes of this happen, I knew that wasn’t it. Fast forward about 45 more minutes and we’re at the mall, I’m in Victoria Secret and my stomach starts cramping up. At first it was kind of normal, for me at least. But once I got in line it started to get really bad. It wasn’t really a cramp I guess, more like a pressure or…idk. I don’t really know how to discribe it. But anyways, my fiance doesn’t like to go in their with me so when I left the store to go find him I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I literally had to walk to a bench and sit down and call him to tell him where I was. I just couldn’t bear the pain anymore. It was worse then it had been in a really really long time, it possibly was the worst pain I’ve ever had. I literally was starting to sweat. We sat there for a few minutes, it felt a lot better when I was sitting or really just my midsection was bent. I finally made myself get up a leave the mall though because we obviously couldn’t just sit there forever. I knew there was no eating lunch for me but I thought maybe I could force down an apple and a fruit smoothie (a healthy one) and some fiber well help it out. I don’t know if that’s what happened or if it finally just left my body. But seriously, it hurt so bad. And I have no idea what it was. My stomach was so hard, I had my fiance feel it, and he barely layed his hand on my stomach and could tell how hard it was (which is not normal lol). I felt a little better the rest of the day, just a little pressure but nothing unbearable. But once I ate again at dinner (which I just had a salad and some fruit and other veggies), it started hurting again. Not as bad, but it definitely got a little worse again. I hate this, it’s so frustrating. I have no idea what’s going on with me. I don’t want to live my life in constant fear of the next thing I put in my mouth causing me to go into so much pain I can’t live my life. But I hate medication. I hate doctors and living the rest of your life on pills. So what’s a girl to do? I can’t live on just fruits and vegetables like I did last week. That’s even harder. I just can’t do it. But something’s gotta give. I need a natural healthy way to fix what’s going on inside my digestive system. I seriously don’t know how I didn’t cry last night. IT was that bad. Ugh. I’m so tired of fighting this. So tired.

It’s ooooooooooooooover. And I forgot to blog yesterday. Oopsy. :) Let’s just say day 10 was a good one. I went and got my massage. And decided that I’m never going to get a massage in the morning again. I was so sleepy the rest of the day. But it was still incredible. I think it was the perfect way to end a cleanse. So today was the big day of measurements. And here they are.

Weight: 148.4

Arms: R 11in L 11in. Bust: 32.5 in. Waist: 29 in. Hips: 35.5 in. Legs: R 22.75 in L 22.75 in.

So in total I lost 5.8 pounds, close enough to 6 to say 6 pounds I think. :) And 3.35 inches all together from all my measurements.

I realize that to some my results may not look like a lot. But you have to remember that I’m a pretty healthy person as it is. Other than the little binge fest I had going on for the past few months. This is basically how I use to eat. So my body was somewhat use to it. And I’m not overweight. In any way shape or form. So therefore, someone who eats nothing like this and is overweight, would lose a lot more. I’m happy with my results. I’m back into the 140s. That was pretty much my goal in doing this. I’m pretty excited to start eating my meat again. And my eggs. Yum. I had two hardboiled eggs for breakfast and they were absolutely yummy :)

Next week I’m going to start working out more hardcore (I pulled back on my working out because I was getting as much protein as I usually did). And hopefully as my metabolism goes up, the numbers on my scale start going down. I really only need to lose 5 more pounds before July to fit into my wedding dress. I think that’s completely doable :)

M.

Day 9. I had a little episode last night. Called, I almost binged. Well I kinda did. But it was on fruit, and raisins. So it doesn’t count right? Well my scale this morning said it did. It was pretty much the raisins. Yes, I can eat raisins on my cleanse. Just not like two….or three handfuls. Wow did my stomach hurt last night. It was turning all night long. I bought a detox a.m. tea this morning at work because it still didn’t feel quite right. But I’m doing good today. And I won’t let myself do that again (partially because there are no more raisins left in my house). Other than the little episode last night though I’m feeling really good on my second to last day. I can’t believe that tomorrow’s the last day. I’m not going to do any measuring until Friday though. I want it to be an actual 10 days that  I did this. So Friday morning you will get my measurements :) What am I most excited to eat again? Eggs and chicken. I could so not be a vegetarian. No way, no how. I’m also excited for some fish. The boy and I are going out this weekend (hopefully to celebrate, more on that later), maybe I’ll get some fish. Or shrimp. Mmmm shrimp sounds good.

Off for a short run in this 80 degree weather before I have to head back into work (gosh I can’t wait till I’m only working once job).

M.

Day 8.

Well I lost some more weight this morning. And I feel pretty good. I’m about to go on a run, just giving my breakfast a little time to settle before I do it. And I finally had a morning off to sleep in! Yay! Gosh that felt good not getting out of bed until 9am. Actually it was after 9 because even though I was awake I couldn’t talk myself actually out of the bed. I was so comfy. :) I don’t know why I feel the need to eat large quanities at a time. Yesterday I was so perfectly fine with my small meals throughout the day. I have this mindset though from years past to just eat whatever is in sight because I might not be able to eat it in a little bit. I think that’s partially from my mom never really having convenient food in my house. If there was food, it was food you had to eat. If there was sweets…ohh buddy that was a treat. She just wasn’t a big eater so she apparently assumed we wouldn’t be either. I’m not blaming her. My sister’s aren’t like this. Well my little one isn’t. My older one..kinda is. But idk, I just need to learn that I actually feel better when I eat smaller meals throughout the day. And when I only eat when I’m hungry. Not when the food is just in front of me. I need to learn this. I am getting so much better though you guys. When it comes to sweets at least. I use to walk into Krogers and all the candy and cakes and ice cream would call my name. Now I just look at it and think nothing of it and walk right past. Yay! Victory! Gosh that feels so good. I have no want to just walk over and grab a candy bar or four. (yup I’ve done that before). I just need to be careful that when I do open my diet back up to all these different types of foods that I still keep that mentality. I think I can. I know I can actually. I just gotta keep my mind focused.

Off for a run.

M.

Day 7. I can’t believe I have four days left (counting today, it’s too early in the morning to not count today). I’m at 7 pounds lost in 7 days. Which I’m pretty happy about. I think I should have been down another pound today though, but I ate way to much fruit (pineapple) yesterday. And fruit=sugar, which sugar=not liking me at all. So I’ve learned that lesson. I don’t really know how I’m feeling right now because I’m so tired from lack of sleep. I was exhausted last night, just straight up exhausted. And here I am, waking up at 4:30 to get ready to  babysit for an hour and a half, then work for 5 and a half and then have two hours off (yay!) and then work for another 3 or 4. I hate mondays. I really do. I need a day off. Really bad. Wow, sorry, I said I was tired. This is suppose to be about this cleanse though. So anyways, weekends are hard to have an actually eating schedule since I’m at the resturant so much. But it’s Monday which means I have five days to actually have an eating schedule. Yay!

M.

Day 6. I’m still feeling great. And I’m starting to look realll skinny. And I like it. A lot. My stomachs pretty flat for the weight I’m at. I feel like I look like I’m 5 pounds lighter. It’s freaking me out a bit. But I’m still feeling really good. I didn’t get up and run this morning because I had a little trouble sleeping last night so I could not get myself up early enough to run. (Because yup, I work again this morning at 10:45, great!) But gosh is it gorgeous out. I’m so sick of working all day through this. It’s just way to nice out. It was 60 degrees at like 9am. Where I’m from, in March, that’s unheard of. I’m pretty sure we’re breaking all kinds of records. My sister lives down south and she is usually bragging up a storm at this point in the year because it’s in the 80s down there. Well now I can tell her to shut it because it’s 80 up here too :) haha

Off for another day.

M.

Day 5. Most Saturdays I wake up so tired after a 10 hour shift on Friday. But today I feel really good. I wish I had woken up a little sooner so I could have gone for a run. But my time is limited so maybe tomorrow! I also realized something last night. I haven’t had a stomach ache all week long. Which is HUGE for me. My stomach is almost always hurting me. And it just feels flatter too. I’m down another pound. Which puts me at 4 pounds lost since Tuesday. 7 pounds since Monday though (Did I ever mention the day before I started this I magically lost 3 pounds, yup it was great). I don’t have time to make a bunch of smoothies before work (gotta go gotta go gotta go real soon), so I’m planning on stopping at Krogers on my way and seeing what kind of fruit smoothies they have their and how healthy they are. I’m hoping they have some that are literally just fruit and no added sugar. So then I have some meals for the day!

p.s. Wish me luck for today. I’m bartending…it’s St. Patricks Day. I haven’t done an overly busy day yet, so this should be interesting.

M.

Day 4. I really don’t have much to write today. I’m still insanely tired. But I think that’s just being busy and the stress from yesterday (I quit one of my jobs, it was tough, I’ve been with them for 3 years and they’re like family, kinda). I really wish I wasn’t tired going into today though, because I’m not going to get much rest this weekend. Working probably 10 hours today, 10 tomorrow and probably 10 on Sunday as well. Oh joy. 30 hours in 3 days. Its work days like these that I’m not happy about being on this cleanse. It’s going to be so hard to eat the right kind of foods when I get one break in my 10 hour day and it’s only 15 minutes. I can’t eat only one meal, so therefore I need foods that are easy to eat on the go. But those aren’t in this plan. My “snacks” are juices, which I’m having trouble making right now because I’m without a juicer (which I am hopefully getting one today from someone I work with). I’m kind of starting to get discouraged, maybe if I had lost any weight today I wouldn’t be so discouraged, but I am. I feel like I’m so restricted. Even though I feel like this “cleanse” is pretty much the elimination diet I did back in January to figure out if I was sensitive to any foods, but much more restrictive. I want to be able to snack on my carrots and celery. Eat a pear or an apple. And eat some meat!! Gosh I’m missing meat right now. And nuts of all sorts. And quinoa. I’m not even missing the sweets. If stuff that’s still good for you that I’m missing right now. Another thing, I didn’t really have a ton of time last week to read into all the different meal plans on this website, but now that I have. I think I’m doing the wrong one. I think that I should have just been doing either the 3 day juice cleanse, or the plus dinner cleanse (which is juicing all day and eating an actually dinner). Maybe next week on my last 3 days of my cleanse I’ll do just a total juice cleanse. And then the first meal I’m having after this cleanse? Chicken. Or Talipia. Just some kind of meat. With maybe some sunflower seeds over it. Yum. Anyways, I need to stop fantasizing about food. That might help this be a little bit easier.

Off to my 10 hour day. Wish me luck.

M.

Day 3. And I’m feeling a little sluggish. Apparently this is normal from all the testimonies I read on the reboot page. Day 3 is the worst of the worst. And then you start to go uphill from here. I’m debating on running or not today. My legs feel tired. So I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I think to myself that I should just push my legs, but then I’m reminded of all the times I’ve read in health magazines and blogs to listen to my body. If it’s not up to running, don’t run because I’ll only hurt myself in the end. So that may be what I’m going to do. No pushing myself. The only bad thing is this may be the last time I get to run all weekend. Well, I could get up early tomorrow and run before work. I don’t go in till 10:30. That’s not super early. I can handle it. Tomorrow I’m really going to have to plan my day though. Well truthfully all weekend I’m really going to have to plan my days. I go in at 10:30 or 10:45 every day and won’t be leaving till 8 or 9 every day. I need to pack some stuff to take. There’s always the salad bar where I work that I can have as one of my meals, but I gotta have something for the other one. This is where it’s going to get tricky.

Oh by the way, I’m down 1.5 from yesterday. So 2.5 from Tuesday :) I think that’s sounding pretty darn good.